Grace Garden Preschool

The 5-year-old girl sat on the edge of her bed, defeated. Her mother had not paid any attention to her antics. She had jumped on the couch, muddied her favorite pillow and then thrown it across the room. Usually her mother would stop whatever it was that she was doing and, frankly, yell at her to stop. Sometimes she would even shake her finger. But today, nothing! Her mother, meanwhile, was equally unhappy. She knew the pillow-throwing incident was attention-seeking behavior, and she wasn’t going to indulge. It seemed, however, that she was either yelling at her daughter or ignoring her these days, and neither was working for her. 

Children love attention and they will do just about anything to get it. If the only way to get a parent’s  attention is to do something bad, bad is what we’ll get. Try to catch your child doing something good. Find specific incidents that define good behavior, from picking up her toys to helping her sibling get a snack. Talk about the behaviors you want from your child, and then give them the opportunity to demonstrate. Call her by name when you see her doing something positive, and when she hears it followed by something positive, she’ll make an effort to get caught doing something right in the future.  You might say, "Kelsey, I saw you help your brother put on his jacket. That's great!" After she gets over the initial shock of hearing her name followed by something positive rather than negative, she'll smile proudly, stand a little taller and make an effort to get caught doing something right in the future.  And stay away from generic praise such as, "You were good today." Find specific incidents which define good behavior. "Thank you for remembering to pick up your toys," and "You took turns with your sister," describe the behaviors you want from your child.

Stay positive and keep the motivation flowing,
Kym